Sketchbook Sunday (again)


The best thing about showing you guys my sketchbook pages is the fact that it gives me real chance to reflect on what I’m actually doing. How often do we actually sit, reflect and analyse what we do. (As a side note, I analyse everything I do, except my art these days).

There is also quite a lot of people sharing their own Sketchbook Sunday on their blogs (check out the hashtag on twitter, sketchbooksunday)

Remember when my university sketchbooks looked like this? Of course you don’t, I barely do.

oldsketchb sketchold veryoldsketchIn fact, I even have a college sketchbook or two kicking about somewhere. Oh the shreds of my life are collected in bound black books, notes and notes of things that interest me, drawings of this, that and the other. The history of everything, the history of me, and my halting disjointed art career.

When I graduated in the summer of 2011 I declared to everyone that after 6 years of art education, that was it, I’d had enough. That I hated the art world, the analytical nature of it all, being told I was a ‘female artist’ (fuck that shit, I always wanted to just be an artist).

It lasted a grand total of two months before I was creating works to be featured in The Lost Plot with Radiator Arts.

Sometimes we chose life, and sometimes, life has a sneaky way of choosing us.


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August 2014


- Exhibited in Plymouth with Radiant, and wrote about it here

- Sketchbook Fridays became Sketchbook Sundays, because why not?

- Interview Neil Carribine and Rebecca Snotflower

- Went on Holiday with Martin, it was quite lovely.

- Read this and agreed all over the place, Tim always writes well, he also has a book coming out, which is all different types of exciting.

- Sarah wrote this about eating and I agreed all over the place

-Tried to stop fucking about with my blog design so much, but I’m never happy.

- Rishie wrote about a podcast she’s doing and you should all go listen to it, like, really listen.

- Jill wrote about growing up in a cult, which was just like, wow you inspiration you.

- Jill also wrote this about religion which I thought was pretty awesome.

- Also interviewed Morgan O’Brien, read it here.

- I started writing more creatively, I was super proud of this post.




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Morning View

I suppose that’s a common conceit, that you’ve already been so damaged that damage itself, in its totality, makes you safe.” 


I’ll quote We Need To Talk About Kevin until the world makes sense again. Damage worn like a protective coat, making you and me and everyone else feel warm and safe. Forgetting your (my) own positive character traits to become a crazy.

Oblivion is where something goes into nothing, but in reality something can come out of nothing, apart from electric energy. Energy can’t be created or destroyed, it moves between you and I and the spaces that we inhabit for even the shortest moments.

Is it pulling me down, or is it trying to pull itself out of the hole? I am never sure, especially not these days when my dreams are so much more than this.

Rain fell down the windows for days on end and curling into bed for a warm, unconscious respite becomes so wanton. I have always been left wanting. I am a stuffed animal with a heartbeat. tiny worlds swim in my head. Strawberry laces tying up my heart, you’ve heard this all before.


A broken record skips in my head, repeating the same collection of words in a vain hope sense. Throwing out clothes, throwing out things makes me feel like I’m shedding personalities that didn’t fit, and never will.

It’s ok, it’s ok.

I’m not religious, but maybe we all need a little spirituality. Solipsist ideology slips into the forefront of my mind so easily, but maybe a new world order is not just ideal but imperative. I am alone, only my mind right now is here.

I’ll rip my own face off and show you my new guise, and maybe things will begin to slip and slide correctly, for once.

(I never said I have all the answers).


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